batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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