it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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