Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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