and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You're breaking my sexual little heart
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize