Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
His nipple licking is glorious
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