Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
