who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Randomize
