Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
