weddingsv make me drug and hornr
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
only you would photoshop your dick
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
