If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
