i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
