I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
