You really coming over, don't trick.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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