forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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