Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
