okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
