How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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