also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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