is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
