are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
