did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
