onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
