i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
