Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
