They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
