Sponge bath it is.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
