are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
