so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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