Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize