I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
