Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
