he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
