Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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