how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
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