brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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