Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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