No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
This house was built for laser tag.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
