Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
