Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Success! We fucked roommates!
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