everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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