No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
