it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
