I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
