he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
