need another drink. this is the easiest way
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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