I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
