nut hugger
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize