Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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