Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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