what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
