I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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