I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
