i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
