I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
