dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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