And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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