it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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