i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
