I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
