I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
