We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
