Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
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