Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
