she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
