i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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