Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
