Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
